Back on the Market

It's been over a year since I last blogged and it's been far too long.  It's amazing what can happen in a year's time. Babies are born, marriages begin and end, people pass. You can fall away from God and return. You can be single, then in a relationship, and then single again. I'm finding myself in the latter.  No matter what when you are my age (30 years old) you hope that you have found "the one."  Sadly I am finding myself back on the market.  I've heard so many clichéd terms over the last week that I can't help but laugh. "Oh Heather, there's other fish in the sea." "You're so much better off."  "You can do better than him."  On and on it goes, and in all honesty all these things are true.  Regardless, being 30, single, and living at home still has a certain sting.  I thought I'd be somewhere else in my life.  Ah, the best laid plans.

However I've decided to make the most of this time.  Even prior to the break up I found myself digging deeper in my faith.  I feel God calling me to something better.  My heart has been yearning to serve.  I have an idea of what I'm being called to but I'm just not sure how to jump in.  I'm excited for the fire that's burning in my belly.  My prayer is that when the opportunity arises I'll be ready. 

I've been reading through Galatians and Ephesians as of late.  I'm learning so much about these two churches through the letters of Paul.  There are many verses that are pulled from these books but to read the context around them give perspective to the words. 

God is good.  I will make it. He knows what is best for me.

 

 

soli.deo.gloria.

 

 

 

God is Faithful

Yesterday I wrote about how God asked me to trust Him with my finances.  I also wrote about how I felt led to sponsor a child through Compassion International.  Here's what I didn't include and how God brought me to tears today.

I walked over to the Compassion table in church on Sunday knowing that I did not have the money on me to sponsor a child.  I was also pretty sure that I didn't have the money in my account to cover the $38 it took for this month.  I figured that I'd be paid before the 7 days was up.  Here's where I slipped up... I don't get paid until next Monday... after the seven day deadline.  For the past 24 hours I've been trying to find ways to scrap my change together and empty my piggy bank. 

On my way home from the gym today my prayers were answered.  God proved Himself faithful once again.  I called home to the news that my tax refund had come in from last year.  God didn't just come through little He came through BIG!  I hung up and just cried.  I praised God for being so good to me and not just me but for this little boy, Josue, that I can now sponsor without worry. 

 ^" LORD, you are my God;
   I will exalt you and praise your name,
for in perfect faithfulness
   you have done wonderful things,
   things planned long ago."  -Isaiah 25:1

He Moves in Mysterious Ways

God has been doing these crazy things in my life lately.  And maybe He's always been doing them and I've just now gotten my head out of the sand.  Now that I think of it I've have been like an ostrich for much of my life.  But I digress....

I've been using Dennis Kinlaw's This Day with the Master Devotional (you can look that up here).  This devotional has sat on my shelf for years.  I've picked it up here and there trying to get into the  habit of daily devos, but the habit never stuck.  It never stuck until this past month.  I've tried to find times in the morning to sit and spend time with God, but I'd either forget or get to busy and I shoved this time aside.  But like I said this past month I've found so much growth in my devotion time that I'm hooked.  Each morning while I'm blow drying my hair I read my devos.  I sit on the floor of my bedroom with my book and Bible on my iPhone and read that days passage.  Now this may not sound like quality time with God but for it has been quite fruitful.  I can't hear anything outside of the noise of blow dryer so all of my focus is on the scripture that I'm reading.  No one bothers me, no one interrupts me; it has been perfect. 

So my reason for writing today stems from two major parts of church today and both relating back to my morning reading.  The first is the verse of the day, Hebrews 13:8 "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever."  Dr. Ron Smith (Pastor Doug's brother) preached this morning and kept coming back to this verse.  How good is it that we have a God that doesn't change.  He made the statement that the only change God ever made was coming in human form as Jesus, but God was still God. 

Here's the mind blower for me... in This Day with the Master the scripture came from Luke 18:18-25.  This is the story of the rich ruler.  God tells him, he is to give away his possessions to the poor and follow Him.  The ruler is unable to do this and is sad.  Jesus then tells him, "it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of the needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven."  That's the story.  The reading that went along with this was about a man who was in a meeting that first gave up his watch when the offering plate passed by.  The second time the plate came to him, he placed his wife's engagement ring in the plate.  The third offering he placed his entire pay check in the plate.  Finally, when the preacher called anyone who wanted to give their life to Christ in full, the man stood, and knowing that with or without the man was going to do God's calling the man's wife stood beside him.   

I say all this to set up what has been going on in my heart.  About a month ago I was reaching for money in a drawer.  It wasn't much, but in a voice that was audible to me I heard "give me your money".  I didn't need to look around.  I knew at that very moment God was calling me to place my finances in His hands.  But for a couple of days I ignored the call.  However in my head I heard that phrase playing over and over again, "give me your money."  So that Sunday I did what I haven't done in ages, I placed my proper tithe in the plate.  I was always a I'll just put a $20 bill and that will be good enough.  (please know that I'm not saying this to get a pat on the back)  Suddenly I felt a true burden to be faithful in this area of my life. 

Since then I've been more aware than ever of God's still small voice and the mighty power that He has.   This morning in church the Homans' spoke about Compassion International.  I've tried to support children in the past but I was never really prepared financially.  Sometimes I was just too selfish to put the money aside.  This morning I felt that call again, "Heather, trust Me."  During second service I trusted God and chose a little boy named Josue from El Salvador to sponsor.  I pray that this time I will be able to support him.  I pray that God will remind me to care for this boy.  I ask that you pray for me as God is doing an amazing work on my heart.

Finding Joy

I was going to make this a blurb on Facebook but I has to much to say for just a status update.

First and foremost, happy Monday. I don't typically find most Mondays happy but today was a pretty good one. Work was actually successful so that's a great way to start. Though my happiness isn't really stemming from my work day, it's after work thats been so great.
My happiness started with a strawberry raspberry peach smoothie from crescent moon. I sipped on its yummy goodness on my way home. It's was windows rolled down sunroof open singing along kind of ride home.
Once home I took to the porch to partake in a favorite activity of mine, napping in the sun. There is nothing like a nap in the warm sunshine. After waking up an hour later I made some tasty trader joes risotto. It was so good that I ate all of it and I stayed on program. Woohoo.
Following my meal I suited up for Zumba and yoga. I spent my first hour at the gym dancing my booty off to the likes of Lady Gaga and Sean Paul. Yoga was a new type of beast. I'm used to nice stretching yoga. Tonight was far more intense and changing. I enjoyed it though and look forward to contorting my body again sometime soon.
Driving home from the gym is when I felt joy. As I drove the country roads of this county I found joy on each and every turn. I has the windows down and sunroof open. The warm air felt cool on my face as I drove. I found myself thanking God for a beautiful day. It was such a gift. Then I looked up while at a stop sign and saw the sparkling stars. The stars shone bright against the dark sky. I thanked God for helping me find joy in His creation. The closer I got to home, I smelled something so sweet in the air. The flowers of spring which would normal make me I'll smelled so lovely. And right before I reached the driveway I caught a whiff of bonfire, such a comforting aroma.
I felt as if my drive home was a gift from God Himself, at each turn something new to remind me of not only His greatness but also His love for me, His child. It never ceases to amaze me how God reaches each one of us in a unique way.

I hope you were able to find joy in the small blessing.

Heart Condition

I feel as though my heart may explode.  Before you get all concerned let me explain my heart condition.  I've been trying to write this post for over a week now.  With each passing day I feel as if my heart is expanding more and more.  I've written this post over and over in my head and now trying to get it all out in words is somewhat daunting.  Forgive me now if I ramble though this.

Let's take the way back machine to a few weeks ago.  It has taken me a while to get back into my habit of going to church.  For some reason I broke the habit, I'm not really sure why.  So my story begins with getting back to church.  I knew that we had started a new sermon series on Transformation.  After hearing that people where going to be giving testimonies I knew that I wanted to get there to hear they transformations in their lives.  Little did I know the transformation that was in store for me. 

I've been a Christian since I was 7 years old and I've had quite the rollercoaster ride but nothing has made me feel the way I've felt over the past couple of weeks.  I feel as though like I mentioned at the outset of this that my heart may explode.  One of my biggest struggles has been reading my Bible and praying regularly, but I've recently have made a part of my daily life. It feels so good to start my day in God's Word.


This is a week later I'm writing this...

My heart continues to have the fervor that I've previously spoke of. I'm trying to figure out what exactly has spurred this renewal but I'm so grateful for it. I feel like its just the right time for this to be happening.
The thing that I'm finding most striking is how my emotions are playing in this renewal. More and more I'm overwhelmed by emotions. Emotions of gratitude. Understanding how unworthy I am of the love and salvation of my Creator. The past three Sundays I have stood with hands raised in adoration and tears streaming down my cheeks. I'll admit that I can get teary eyed at a movie but to shake in the presences of my Savior I quite different. There have been moments when I can't sing because I'm too choked up. The words won't leave my mouth but they are being sang loud and strong in my heart. It's been beautiful to feel the Holy Spirit move me. At first I was so confused by my feelings, a little scared even. This outpouring is new or it's new in tho form.
I feel so wonderfully blessed by the transformation of my heart. God is doing a work in me. I'm not sure why but I know it has a purpose.

A lyric has been in my head lately it's from the Relient K song "Be My Escape", "The beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair.". How true. Because Jesus didn't have to die but He choose to. He gave us grace through His resurrection. Remind yourself of the beauty of grace.

transformation determination

Every Friday for me during the last 6 weeks has caused a bit of anxiousness.  The whole day in the back of my mind is the clocking ticking toward 3:30pm.  Weigh-in is an exciting yet nervewracking.  This week I have pushed myself harder than I have in previous weeks.  Prior to weigh-in I had 6,000 plus calories burned.  I felt that I had lost weight, but I wasn't sure how much.  I was hoping for about 3-4 pounds lost.  I took a deep breath and stepped on the scale and much to my glee I was 6 pounds lighter than I was last week.  To date I have lost 34.5 pounds.  It's a number that I'm astounded by.  I never thought I would lose like that in such a short amount of time.  These past weeks I've proven things to myself.  I've found an inner strength that I didn't know I had.  Determination has grown.  Determination continues to grow.  There is a fire in my belly that burns bright and hot.  I hope that the changes in my life I've made can inspire someone else make this same change to help themself. 

I'm a little sad that I only have one week left of this chapter.  It's been such an exciting time.  My team has been my backbone and have pushed me further than I thought.  I hope we all keep moving forward and achieve our goals.  I keep thinking of my healthy self and I can't wait to see her.  Debbie has been such a guiding light through all this.   My friends and family's support has meant the world to me.  These factors put together have allowed me the success that I've had thus far.  The next chapter will be interesting to see where I go. 

just keep pedaling

I thought when I started Biggest Loser I'd have time to blog about my experience. Well I was wrong. I had no idea how time consuming this adventure would be. I'm writing this as I pedal home from Disney. Yes that's right we made first. My team is now pedaling back to NJ. I've biked more miles on this bike than I ever did on my 10 speed as a kid.

Throughout these past six weeks I've had some amazing highs and a few lows. Some of those highs have been being the third highest calorie burner out of twenty women, being able to hold the plank position, running for three minutes straight and doing again four minutes later. I've found strength I never knew existed. I also found muscles I didn't know could ache. Muscles hurt that haven't hurt since my field hockey days. The biggest victory has been losing 10% of my body weight.

To be continued...