inexpressible

I started off this entry with a picture because I feel like it best expresses how I feel.  This picture at face value looks like the view from my front window.  It's the field across the street that used to be a well manicured gravel track and all that remains is the baseball field.  I chose this picture because what I see is ground that is saturated to the point that it is overflowing and pooling with cool rainwater. 

I feel like I'm so full that I'm going to overflow.  I can't help it.  My heart is full.  My mind is full.  My belly is full.  I'm so full that I can feel it in my fingertips.  Why am I so full?  (I'm sure some could say I'm full of a lot of things.)  I feel as if there is a work being done in me that is so incredible that it wants to bubble out.  I'm not even sure if I can express it in words.  This here is going to be my best attempt. 

I had named this blog Renewing a Joyful Spirit; because as a little girl I had a placard in my room that read, "Heather, Joyful Spirit".  I felt that really at the heart of who I am and was that perfectly described me.  As I've grown up I've lost that little girl that sang songs that she made up when swinging.  However, I feel like singing again. God has put a song in my heart and the melody keeps reverberating through my bones. 

I want to share this overwhelming joy with the world.  Quite honestly, I want to stand on the mountaintops and scream "I LOVE YOU GOD!" at the top of my lungs until my throat is raw.  My eyes are continually on the brink of releasing liquid gratitude. 

The thing is I don't know how to share this amazing transformation.  I feel like I need to share this unquenchable joy.  So here I sit in front of my laptop and type out these humble words. My joy is inexpressible. 

"Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory,"  1 Peter 1:8

 

eucharisteo

 

soli.deo.gloria.

Special Assignment

In previous posts I mentioned that I was using a devotional from a website called "She Reads Truth".  I just finished Philippians (the pop in George Eats Pop Corn).  I started Colossians this week.  The first days devotional reading smacked me in the face so hard.  I sat getting ready for work flabbergasted and bowled over.  I wish I could convey to you how impactful the words of that devo were without copying it, but I can't begin to even touch how eloquently they were set before me.  So I'm not going to do that, what I am going to do is copy and paste the passage below... I take no credit for this whatsoever. 

 

 

 

While this letter to the Colossians was written years and years ago, the application for our current life is overly abundant.  From idols we place in our lives, to our easy ability to put our end-all faith in humanity: God speaks through Paul’s words, directly to us today.
Before each day’s reading, take time to ask God to soften your heart.  Ask Him to reveal specific areas in your life that you’re holding onto.  Each day, ask Him to help you surrender a little more. Colossians is all about living the full life – the kind of fullness we can only find when we die to ourselves and become alive in Christ!

Please join us, as we are changed by His truth in this book.

 

On Special Assignment

Verse 1 of Colossians in The ESV reads, “Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God”.
The Message reads, “I, Paul, have been sent on special assignment by Christ as part of God’s master plan.”
Yes, there is a whole lot more of Paul’s letter ahead of us. Yes, this seems like such a inconsequential afterthought of a verse, and to stop just one verse in seems silly.
But it’s not. I want you to write it down – I want you to say it out loud:

“I, ______, have been send on a special assignment by Christ as part of God’s master plan.”

Do you believe it, sister?

I mean truly… do you?

Because it’s true. Your special assignment is different than mine. It’s different from your sister’s calling, it’s different from your mentor’s, and your neighbor’s and the girl who sat in front of you in church last week. It is as unique as you are, this calling to point the world to Christ.
And no matter how old you are, and how many days God has written for you on this earth, sister, YOU are a part of the MASTER PLAN. He has willed it. It is written. (Psalm 139:16 says, “in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there were not of them.”)

Can I share something personal with you? Really personal? The Lord has graciously given my husband and me seven precious babies. I have delivered and held and kissed three of them, and only two of them have toothbrushes in the upstairs bathroom, shoes in the hall closet, and dirty clothes in our laundry room.

And do you know, that even those fleeting little lives – those longed-for souls whose hearts beat for 212 days or less – they were on special assignment by Christ? That at the end of their lives, God said “Well Done. Mission Complete.” (and “PS, I’m still working on your Mama…”)

So what about us? What does this mean for us? Paul lived his calling with conviction and submission. He knew it in his head, and he knew it in his heart. He acted his calling and lived it with zeal!

Do you sometimes forget your high calling in His Kingdom? Do you ever wonder how your obedience could possibly be critical to the master plan? Do you ever question how God could use you, yes even you, as a vital cog in His plan and in the furtherance of His kingdom?

Turn off your screen and sit quietly with the Lord this morning. Submit yourself to Him. Report for duty. And trust Him to stir within you a confidence and surety that He will use you.

Because every day that your heart is beating is a day to live your calling as a daughter of the King! And we are so grateful that he chose you to serve along with us!


I'm so thankful that there is a mission for me on this terrestrial ball.  So often I feel as uncertain of my assignment.  Recently however when I've heard the voice of the Lord calling me to obedience I've listened instead of doing my own thing.  This has caused me to step outside of my comfort zone, but has also some anonymity due to its nature.  I'm going to be faithful with this small thing. 

The first thing that stuck out to me first and foremost was this:

“I, ______, have been send on a special assignment by Christ as part of God’s master plan.”

I sat and repeated the phrase and I inserted my name in the blank.... "I, Heather, have been send on a special assignment by Christ as part of God's master plan." Please make sure you have done that with you own name.  Wow!  I have been sent here on a special assignment.  Of course I then go to what is my special assignment?  Have I missed my calling?  Is it too late?  Or... has my piece of the altered shape because I missed something? 

That morning because the scripture was only two verses I let my mind run.  I sat and prayed.  I sat in silence and since that day I've found myself sitting in God's presence.  Just allowing myself to be open.  Right now that's where I'm finding some of my obedience to be placed. 

God has a plan for me, ^11" For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11
All things are possible with God. (Matthew 19:26)  If God is for us... who can be against us. (Romans 8:31) 

Don't be afraid of your assignment.  Be obedient.  Do something. 

like this flower is waiting to bloom, so we are waiting to fulfill our purpose.

soli.deo.gloria.



Memory Verse

As a kid one of my fondest memories of Sunday School was memorizing verses. The first verse was the one that is at the crux of our faith  John 3:16,

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." 

 

 

The other verse that I remember memorizing and clearly impact me is Romans 12:1-2,





"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. ² Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

I wish as an adult I had continued memorizing verses.  I think it will be something that I will start putting into practice once again.  I was on pintrest and saw a pin of 50 essential verses.  It's what prompted me to write this post. 

50 Essential Verses



I continue to write as a means to encourage.  If you are reading this I'd love to hear some of your favorite verses and memory verses.  I love feedback and what a great way to do so by sharing God's Word.

One last verse to share... I logged onto Bible Gateway to get my verses exact text and this was one of my favorites as well.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30 NIV

 

I hope and pray that as I age and mature in my faith that I can be a Proverbs 31 woman.  Blessings.

 

 

 

soli.deo.gloria.

 





A Time to Reflect

One of my greatest sources of joy as of late has been spending time in the Word.  I admit that I haven't had the strongest of devotional lives.  I've struggled to maintain a consistent "quiet time".  This past Lent, I made the conscious decision to do a Lenten devotional.  I chose one from my iPhone app YouVersion.  This app has made a huge difference in my walk with the Lord.  Making a conscious effort set aside time to spend with my God has made a tremendous difference. 
 
I'm not sure how many people are aware of my concentration issues and my ability to be easily distracted.  These conditions make devotional time challenging.  In the past I've tried a number of different strategies.  I tried first thing in the morning when I woke up... I'd find myself with heavy eyelids and frequently falling back asleep sitting up.  I tried reading right before bed... I found myself having a similar problem as I did in the morning.  I'd start to read and heavy eyelids would prevail.  So morning didn't work... before bed didn't work... maybe midday after work would be the answer.  Yeah, that too was unsuccessful for so many reasons I can't begin to list them.  I looked at my daily habits and realized that there was a place to carve out time.  A time when I had to be still and there was rarely an interruption.  When is that time you ask... It's when I sit in my room to blow dry my hair.  Go ahead and laugh.  I know this probably isn't the most optimal of situations, but for me it works. 

This time of has been one of the most spiritually fruitful of my life.  I start my day focused on the Lord.  I have a forty minute drive to sing and worship if I so feel moved.  The song on my heart is set before the day has a chance to really begin.  It is a glorious thing. 

I say all this because I wanted to share some of what the Lord has been laying on my heart.  I've been reading from devotionals written by http://shereadstruth.com/.  These are written for women by women.  I love that.  I love that they are honest.  They aren't just for wives or mothers but for all women.  I'm in that awkward I'm over 30 and neither of those titles apply to me.  However that's a blog for another time.  I'm on my fourth devotional written by this group.  I've read their Holy Week, Galatians, Ephesians, and now Philippians devos.  What a blessing!  (I said I'm easily distracted)  What I wanted to do is share all the scripture that has meant so much to be over the last several months, but I realized that there's just too many.  So I guess I just share a few in hopes that they encourage you as well.  Perhaps at another time and date I really expound upon some of the large sections that have touch my heart. 

We had looked at this section of scripture before Easter and it came back after to remind of the fact that But GOD.  But God makes all the difference.  Without those two small words the eternal impact cannot be made.

 

I need this to be my daily reminder to be more Christ like. 

 

 

It's getting to be towards my bedtime so I'm going to wrap up.  There's so much I want to share about what is going on in my heart and mind.  I can't wait to put it all down.  I hope that through my ups and downs, triumphs and struggles, that I can be an encourage you all to keep on running the good race that has been set before us.

 

soli.deo.gloria.

 



let me get this off my chest

My previous post was about being contentment, but I have something that I need to get off my chest.  I tired of feeling scared.  Each time I walk out of a place I find myself scanning the scene.  I pull into my driveway and I do a search of the parking lot across the street.  I bolt from my car to the house.  I feel like sometimes he's watching.  Yes, I realize that I'm probably crazy, but I somehow feel justified in my current paranoia.  However it makes me angry that someone can have that kind of foothold on my day to day life.  Go ahead and say, "Heather's lost it."  The problem is I kind of feel it too.  Upon receiving a message from a reputable source about my ex's past issues with anger and aggression toward females in his life I feel it necessary to "watch my back".   I've heard how I've dodged a major bullet.  I couldn't agree more.  So as I sit here before bed to get this off my chest, I ask that you pray for me.  Pray that I can be at peace.... pray that God places a hedge of protection around me... pray for my ex.  In all honesty I think he's the one that needs prayer the most.  My prayer for him is that the dark cloud that is perpetually over his head will be gone and that he will find joy.


For now I am going to be seeking my joy in the Lord... pray that I can do that as well. 

soli.deo.gloria.

 



Sweet Contentment

Ah yes, sweet contentment.  Almost two weeks ago I was on women's retreat with my fabulous sisters in Christ.  This was an absolutely blessed time.  I had spent the week prior working to prepare my heart for the work that the Lord might do in me.  I had been having a rough couple of days prior to going.  W had asked me not to go on the retreat.  He wanted me to stay with him.  I refused and thus set the ball in motion to the break up.  I feel though that this emotional time made me more receptive to God's voice.  I felt myself resting in the arms of my Savior.  By the end of the weekend I truly felt my contentment coming from the Lord.  How sweet it really and truly is to find my contentment there. 

We received beautiful, green, ceramic coffee cups with the weekends theme verse.  I post a pic of the cup but it won't show up.  However, here's a lovely rendition of the verse found in Philippians 4:12-13. 

 

Most of the time we focus on v.13.  Take time to read the first half and not take for granted the blessings of God.

I've been thinking lately about how easy it is to complain.  It's been studied that complaining is a common bonding agent among people.  Complaining unites us and makes us odd bedfellows.  I don't want this to become my way of connecting with others.  I want to be all about building up, not tearing down.  Focus on the positive; eliminate the negative.  If I'm aware of this fault, then others must be as well,  and I don't want to be the Debbie Downer.  All this is to say that I'm going to endeavor to reduce and/or eliminate complaining. 

If there's one thing I learned during the retreat it is to be content.  Bloom where you are planted.

And bloom I shall.

soli.deo.gloria.

Back on the Market

It's been over a year since I last blogged and it's been far too long.  It's amazing what can happen in a year's time. Babies are born, marriages begin and end, people pass. You can fall away from God and return. You can be single, then in a relationship, and then single again. I'm finding myself in the latter.  No matter what when you are my age (30 years old) you hope that you have found "the one."  Sadly I am finding myself back on the market.  I've heard so many clichéd terms over the last week that I can't help but laugh. "Oh Heather, there's other fish in the sea." "You're so much better off."  "You can do better than him."  On and on it goes, and in all honesty all these things are true.  Regardless, being 30, single, and living at home still has a certain sting.  I thought I'd be somewhere else in my life.  Ah, the best laid plans.

However I've decided to make the most of this time.  Even prior to the break up I found myself digging deeper in my faith.  I feel God calling me to something better.  My heart has been yearning to serve.  I have an idea of what I'm being called to but I'm just not sure how to jump in.  I'm excited for the fire that's burning in my belly.  My prayer is that when the opportunity arises I'll be ready. 

I've been reading through Galatians and Ephesians as of late.  I'm learning so much about these two churches through the letters of Paul.  There are many verses that are pulled from these books but to read the context around them give perspective to the words. 

God is good.  I will make it. He knows what is best for me.

 

 

soli.deo.gloria.